Red Rose Yellow rose Black Rose Dead Rose
by Waxx-Butterflies
Summary: Hermione's mother is dead, Hermione feels abandoned with her dad neglecting her and being abusive, she feels like no one cares... but one person cares so much more then she knows but will Hermione realize this before it's to late and what will choose?
1. Prolouge

Prologue.

Why did you have to leave me in this cruel uncaring world...you just told me goodbye like you didnt even care... you never looked back....I loved you mother. I want to have the feeling of sound and i want to feel love... i want to love something becasue all i ever wake up to anymore is the weak sound of the beat of my heart. My chestnut hair covers my face and shields me from the outside world, from outside pain and from all happiness. I've grown walls around myself with only the memories of my friends keeping me sane....keeping me alive and keeping me from breaking. Why does he hate me, i tried to help you...but you just left... i want you to come back.. i need you mother..i love you and need you so much because when you lived everything was perfect. Dad snapped my wand and kept me from my friends.......no one knows where i am...no one cares...why should they...I'm nothing...I'm nobody...I'm not going to get my fairy tale ending....

Or will i?

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Okay, so i know this is hsort but if i get atleast 5 reviews or commetns then i will post more, And i promise it will be long. Much longer then this.

Love All


	2. Chapter 1

It all started after I came home for the summer from my 4th year of Hogwarts. My mom and dad were so delighted to see me once more and at the time we were happy, nothing was wrong…nothing was it was like now.

_FLASHBACK_

_"Mum, Dad!" I ran into their waiting arms, and they crushed me with love. My heart swelled as I got to see them again. I told them about my year and the adventures they had, while my mom looked as if she wanted to faint my dad encouraged m to keep going, that in the end I'll become stronger and everything is worth it. I believed him then, I believed that I would be strong and I would never break, my mom tried to tell me everyone has a weak point but I didn't listen. _

_Days went by and we got closer and closer, we went to the beach together and we went skiing, one of our favorite things to do together as a family. _

_One morning I awoke in our cabin on the mountain, I could here the sleepy birds awaking for the day and the sun was laid across my room, slightly sparkling from the frost on the window and lighting up my room. I got up and yawned followed closely with a stretch and decided to have a shower. I looked at my clock and it was 7:00am. I walked into the bathroom and shivered in the morning air as I stripped down to nude. I climbed in and a gusted the water temperature and only got out after feeling truly refreshed. I have a weird feeling in my stomach as I dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and favorite lavender long sleeve shirt. After I put on some makeup; blue mascara but looked blackish, cover-up a shade lighter then my skin and some lip-gloss. _

_After I finished that I brushed my teeth and put my wavy hair in a half pony tail then walked into the living room. My mom and dad were already up drinking coffee. I went over and hugged each with a smile_

"_Morning Mum and Dads" They smiled and told me that same thing, they asked how I slept and I told them very well. _

_I asked my parents if I could go skiing if I was back by dinner_

"_Go ahead Hermione, be careful." _

"_I will, love you guys." I got all of my skiing equipment on and went to the biggest mountain I, counted too three in my head "1….2…__**3!**__" I shot off like a rocket, the wind shot my hair behind me like a cape and I felt like I was flying down the mountain. I could here the spray of snow around me and I laughed from the adrenaline rush and pure enjoyment. _

_I did that throughout the day and finally around dinner time I made my way to the cabin, I got a funny feeling growing in the pit of my stomach but shook it off and went inside the cabin, feeling the warmth rush around me in a tight embrace. I looked around the cabin and there was no fire crackling in the fireplace and most of the lights were off. My feeling got worse; I called in a quiet voice_

"_Mum, dad? What's going on?" I told myself to stay calm, and to stay rational. They were probably out skiing. That didn't calm my insides though._

_I walked around the cabin checking most of the rooms but still found nothing. I decided to get a fire going. In the midst of blowing on the small flame there I heard a small noise, like a gasp…or a plea. _

_I walked towards my parents' room, the only room I avoided looking in. It felt like hours before I made it to the door, but it had only been a minuet or two. It took out so much strength from me but I opened the door and wanted to scream, faint and pee myself all at once._

_My dad as beside the bed, crying into the sheet while it looked like my mom was…asleep. She wasn't asleep, I knew that much but that's hat I kept telling myself, she'll wake up any minuet and go APRIL FOOLS but she never did. Her hair was in a light chestnut blanket around her head, her skin was pale lavender and she didn't move or make a sound. This was dead… this is what it meant to die…it meant to be alone. It was the scariest thing I could ever imagine. _

_Before I even asked my dad said to no one in particular_

"_Why did you leave me all alone…..you're gone…I hate you for this but will always love you."_

_I ad started to cry without realizing it, my dad turned around and looked at me_

"_Oh honey, come here." He opened his arms and I ran into them nearly knocking us over and whispered_

"_Why, daddy why did she go, not now! No, no, no!" He shed me, rocking gently back and forth and we cried into each other for hours on end. We called the doctor and we got an examination. The doctor was in an all white over coat that nearly matched my mums' skin; I held my tears in and decided I would be strong. The doctor was fairly young looking, maybe about 22 or so. He had deep blue eyes that had obviously so early in his career seen lots of death and pain. When he looked me straight in the eyes, I had to look away; it felt like he was giving me all his pain. He told us_

"_It seems she died from Terminal Cancer." After that I blocked everything else out, I knew I couldn't have been good. I only caught small clips from the conversation like "She didn't have much of chance anyways…. Its called the silent killer for this very reason." After I blacked out, and hoped I was dieing so I could be with my mum again, so I let it take me quietly. _

_After a while i felt myself wake up and thought "no, no, no i have to be with mummy!" I opened my eyes and sat up, the doctor was sitting beside my bed and asked if i was okay, or atelast how i felt. I just hugged my knees to my chest and cryed, he pulled me into him and let me cry into his jacket. I held on his jaceket with a death grip, like it meant my own death if i let go. He patted my back and after an hour or two wrapped his hands around my wrists and gently pulled them from his jacket. Then in one quick moment he leaned down and kissed me gently on te lips. I was shocked but felt a bit better, he stopped after a minuet then looked down at me, he put my hands down at my side then whispered into my ear_

_"You are never alone, never forget that." His breath caressed my ear and sent a warm shiver down my spine. I nodded and he smiled at me and got up. _

_"I have to be going now, but never forget." I nodded and watched him leave, i wanted to run up to him and demnd my first kiss back, i wanted to grab him and never let go. Instead i went into the living room and cuddeled up to my dad and we fell asleep togehter after long hours of crying. _

_END FLASHBACK _

After everything and as days went on, he became violetn towards me, screaming at how i was nothing but afreak, trash and everything that went wrong in my life was my fault. He took out his anger on me, and i let him. I had no energy after the month my mom died, i felt hollowed out like someone took a spoon and slowly gutted me, so i let him do whatever he wanted to me. I had no more slef love then i had love for him. I heard a click and whimpeered in fear as i tried to curl up mroe as i awaited another beating from the person who i called father and spent another nigth in this hell hold that i call my home.

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Okay, so i hope people enjoyed this chapter, i'll come out with the next one as soon as i can. ( i told you it was gonna be long!)

Love you all


	3. Chapter 2

He had beaten me for what seemed like hours but was in reality only minuets. He was high, that much I could tell and as for drunk, I couldn't… I never could any more because there was no difference between his none drunk self and drunk, either way he was bitter and angry, uncaring and unloving, unwilling...to move on and let go. He had punched me with brute force and kicked me in till I was gasping for air and he made it so I could feel my warm blood drip down my head; the only warm thing left in me. Some light shone from the upstairs, considering I was being kept in the basement it was amazing to see light after weeks in almost complete darkness. My chest felt like it was on fire with every breath, no doubt i had some broken ribs but i didn't let the pain get to me, i wouldn't let it get to me and i wouldn't show Him that he was getting to me, that i was close to break, that i was getting closer to the darkness that was infinite.

"I need an escape.....i need someone to save me.....but no one will..." Then i faded to darkness.

**At Grimmauld Place(Sirius POV)**

I looked around feeling like we were missing someone was missing when Ron asked

"Has anyone heard anything from Hermione lately?" No one answered and everyone looked nervous. Tonks replied

"I went to her house but no one answered, but i saw someone moving around in there...but only 1 person." Ron turned slightly pale from worry, i decided i would take it upon myself to make sure she was safe.

"I'll go and make sure she's okay." Every nodded and i decided best way to go would be floo. I grabbed my bag of powder and went to the old crusted over fireplace. "Lovely" I mumbled as chunks of ash fell off around me.

**Granger Residence (Sirius POV)**

"Grangers Residence!" I shouted clearly while the flames consumed me. It felt like i was flying... no more like falling then i was in the Grangers fireplace. I stepped out and noticed the house had not been cleaned a while then the smell caught up and made me crinkle my nose at the foul stench. The hardwood floors were caped with dirt and grime, the windows were dirt and bug tinted and beer cans laid everywhere and a razor laid beside some weed and a pipe. I listened to see if i could hear anything but heard nothing, i decided it would be best too look around.

I waded through the mess of a den and made my way into the kitchen and there i found my self surrounded by miles high of ....more garbage. Surely Hermione couldn't be letting it get this dirty without going insane. I plugged my nose and tiptoed through that and came to hallway. It was pretty clean except for what looked like footsteps in a red substance. I bent down and got a closer look at it and realized it was dry blood. My stomach started doing flips, not becasue of the blood but becasue of who the blood might belong too.

I stood up and followed the footsteps to an oak door. I quietly opened it and listened for any sound of someone down there. I strained myself and after a few minuets picked up the sound of ragged, labored breathing. I walked down the stairs using my wand to light the way and noticed more and more blood and what scared me was that with every step it was getting fresher. I turned the corner, not seeing anything outside my own light and then a sound that sounded like a kitten reached my ears.I walked swiftly towards the sound and what i saw made me gasp in fear and

**Granger Residence (Hermione's POV)**

I heard footsteps coming towards me and tried to scream but only a meow like squeak came out. I tried to move away but every part of my body protested. A light moved towards my face and i tried to do something, say something but i had no energy left. The person who was my rescuer was none other then Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. Tears stung my eyes and i didn't care considering they were tears of joy. He bent down, close to my face to get a better look at me, i was half on my back and half on my stomach so as gently as he could he put me on my back, getting a hiss of pain from me and a grimace on his face.

**Grimmauld Place (Hermione's POV) **

"O god, what happened to you." Sirius asked. I had no time to answer or strength as we heard a loud bang upstairs signaling that my father had come back home. His head shot up at the sound and if looks could kill, My dad would be dead over and over again, through the floor. He used his right arm and picked me up around the waist and whispered into my ear

"Dont make a sound, please try and bare with the pain child." I nodded as he gently through me over his shoulder. I hissed in pin and he mumbled some words under his breath and we re appeared back in his house and he shouted

"EVERYONE I NEED HELP NOW! I'VE FOUND HERMIONE!" I could here everyone's footsteps rushing forward and then heard the gasps of everyone as the saw my black and blue, malnutrition body. I felt soft fabric under me and after that, i instantly fell into darkness, knowing for once i would wake up and be loved, be taken care of and most of all i would be okay and probably live.

I woke up a few hours later, or so it seemed for all i knew it could have been days, i felt pretty refreshed despite every part of my body screamed in agony. I tried to get up then decided not to. I heard the door creek open and in poked one red head i know as Ron and the other person was Harry. I smiled at them and they started to shout in joy and call everyone up. Once everyone had gathered into the room and settled down, and Mrs Weasley gave me a few sandwiches i sat up with the help of pillows and everyone was quiet, waiting for me too start.

"Thank you Sirius, you saved my life, you saved me...thank you so much!" He nodded at me and no one asked what i knew they wanted to ask. "what did he do to you, who did this?" But i wasn't ready to answer so before anyone could asked i told them i wasn't ready to talk about it. Everyone agreed i should get some rest and in the morning they would fix me up included with a steamy bubble bath and a big breakfast to celebrate for my coming back...alive mostly. I thanked everyone and Mrs Weasley helped me into some pajamas and got me in bed, tucking me in complete with a kiss on the forehead. She whispered

"God bless you darling." And left, leaving me for the first time in months to cry freely, without feeling weak, i cried in till dawn the next day, only then could i fall asleep with nothing but nightmares that i could never escape from.

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I hope you all liked that chapter, sorry if its not incredibly long, I'm trying my best!

Love you all and i promsie i will update soon!


	4. Chapter 3

I awoke a few, or so it seemed, hours later considering I had no idea what time I arrived. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and found myself in an average sized comfy bed with a Red comforter and black silk sheets. I stretched, feeling the best I had in many months but for some reason couldn't find any reason to yet smile… I felt lonely... I was about to get up when Ron and Harry poked there heads in the door and delightfully exclaimed to every that I had awoken. They came rushing in with Lupin, Tonks and Sirius nipping at there heels. Everyone was smiling and asking me how I felt. Once everyone had finally gotten quiet after I didn't answer I stretched my arms, then legs and moved my neck. There was no pain anywhere and I beamed at them and told them

"I'm much better now that I know I can finally live." Harry gave me a hug followed by Ron; everyone else chattered animatedly while Sirius sat in the corner of the room looking quite unpleasant. He was staring grudgingly at the floor with eyes full of loathing. I couldn't understand why , while pondering this matter I forgot I was staring at him and only when he looked up at me and gave me a half smile half smirk did I come out of my head and smiled at him. He gave me a quick wink and I mouthed to him "Thank you" He nodded, no one seemed to notice our exchange when Mrs. Weasley finally roared above all others

"That's enough everyone. Let the poor dear rest and everyone except Sirius LEAVE, come on the lot of you." The all grumbled under there breaths in defeat and left hastily. I wondered why everyone except Sirius had to leave, but it was as if he was reading my mind

"She thinks you'll retell the story to me since I….helped you…" I only nodded and hugged my knees to my chest and took a few deep breaths. He stood up from his sitting place, brought over the wooden chair he'd been occupying and came right beside my bed, sitting on it so the back was in the front. I smiled shyly at this and he asked

"So, are you ready to talk yet?" I bit my bottom lip and looked towards the dusty floors. I couldn't look him in the eye then after the silence wore on he finally sighed and shook his head with a bemused smile. He didn't try to push me into telling him, he didn't plead or ask he just sat there looking at me, smiling. It filled me with a sense of security. We sat induced in a comfortable silence for a while then eventually I spoke

"He blamed it on me….its my fault…but he helped me…. You saved me."

"Who helped you?" Sirius questioned.

"I can never forget…he told me that…the doctor…he helped me at first but that seems so far away….my happy life ended and is now reborn..." Sirius was watching me as if I had grown a second head. He took a deep breath before explaining

"You are right, about most of it except, its not you're fault your mother died. But one thing I don't understand is how did the doctor help you really?"

"When I found out my mother had died, I passed out, when I awoke he was there waiting for me. For hours he let me cry on his shoulder then…. He took my first kiss and told me to never forget." Sirius looked cross for a minuet, then asked

"To never forget what?"

"That im never alone and he was right because even if the past cant be erased, I can try and move on into the future…" It was hard for me to talk at all, it felt like my tongue was glue to the roof of my mouth the whole time, I was shaking and I wanted to cry. How I could tell Sirius all of this and not everyone else, I couldn't say but I knew for 1 thing that the doctor had told the truth

I would never be alone.

After what seemed hours of me and Sirius having some small talk and catching up a bit, though I didn't say much we finally went downstairs. Molly gave me a bone crushing hug and I hugged her back. I got more hugs from Harry, Ron, Fred and George and of course Ginny. We sat down for a delicious lunch of pumpkin juice and sandwiches. (For Me that was amazing since I hadn't eaten much) Molly of course made me eat 3rd and 4th, which I had no problem with considering I was starving.

After a hearty lunch we all went outside and relaxed on the lawn with me and Ginny practicing some spells and Harry, Ron, Fred and George all wrestled and even after a while they got me and Ginny to join in. The after noon was full of laughing and wrestling, spells and food.

Harry and Ron could hardly believe I would wrestle and same with me actually. I would usually never accompany them and play such games but I needed a change, so I thought it would be a fun idea, and for the most part it was pretty fun beside the point of when George and Fred thought it would be funny to choke slam Harry to the ground, to when that happened we all ganged up on them.

We all sat on the ground, sweating and breathless but laughing. We convinced Sirius and Lupin to wrestle, which was positively hilarious considering everyone was betting on who would win. The twins bet on Lupin which Ginny also bet on, while Ron, Harry and I all bet on Sirius. Lupin was winning in till Sirius got the upper hand when Lupin lost his foot and fell backwards and Sirius took advantage of this by throwing his foot behind him and making him trip, and as Lupin fell towards the ground Sirius grabbed him by each shoulder and propelled his weight to the ground on top of Lupin's and pinned him, while also knocking the air out of the already tired werewolf.

After everyone handed over there money to a very happy Harry Ron and I their was a very loud BANG before Molly declared

"Supper, come on everyone time to eat!" We all hurried in and took our places around the large oak table. I was in between Ginny and Harry while Sirius was in between Lupin and Ron with Fred and George on across from each other and Molly took the end of the table. I found this strange, it being Sirius's house and all but didn't question it. We ate a lovely dinner of Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy followed with a variety of vegetables and then a delicious dessert. We all sat at the table after dinner talking and laughing and everyone teased Lupin about losing to Sirius which made him turn a very interesting shade of red.

"O come on Lupin, you have to admit, Sirius played his cards quite well." He just shook his head and said while smiling

"It was just a stroke of luck, I would've won." I laughed at this; it reminded me of a younger Ron and Harry when we all met. I leaned back in my chair and smiled, for the first time in months, I smiled out of pure happiness, I'd forgotten how good it felt. After a few minuets the table became quiet, I checked the clock and it told me it was almost 11pm; Ginny stifled a yawn and stretched. Mrs. Weasley ushered her off to bed while she protested the whole way. I went and sat on the couch in the living room where I had slept the first time I arrived here. I read a book on Ancient wizards and after I checked the clock it was nearly 1 in the morning, everyone must have went to bed so I put it downand decided I should probably get to bed. Before I made it to the staircase I bumped into someone, I looked up and found Sirius looking down at me, still fully clothed. I raised a brow and asked

"What are you doing?" He smiled then said

"I should be asking you the same thing? You shouldn't still be up; I thought Molly put you to bed." I shrugged and shook my head.

"Well I'm going to bed now." He just smiled and wrapped his arms around me in an embrace and told me

"Good night, Hermione." I hugged him back and felt myself over flow with warmth

"Good night Sirius." We let go of each other and I saw Sirius go and sit on the couch where I was previously, I started to make my way up the stairs and got my gown on, I had a horrible urge to go back down stairs and I followed despite my little voice telling me I shouldn't, but . I quietly crept down the stairs and saw Sirius staring into the fire intensely. I quietly made my way into the living room and stood in the doorway. When he didn't sense my presence I cleared my throat. He turned around startled, grabbing his wand and holding it up towards me. He looked surprised then lowered his wand while a smile crossed his face.

"Hermione, I thought you went to bed already."

"I couldn't sleep." I lied, that surprised me, I never lie especially never to an adult. He just smiled and asked

"Do you need something then?" I shook my head no then asked

"Could I sit with you for a bit?" He raised a brow

"That sounds like something to me." I rolled my eyes and just looked at him. He nodded his head and I beamed at him, he smiled back and moved over as I lopped onto the couch beside him. I sat close enough that if we moved we would brush up against each other. I leaned back on the couch and watched as the flames danced and licked each other gracefully. After what felt like hours, but was probably only minuets I was lying on the couch with Sirius lying behind me. Without realizing it, I was cuddled right into him and in a matter of minuets; we had fallen asleep in each others arms.

The next morning I awoke with a blanket over me and what curled a bit of disappointment in my stomach curled uncomfortably. I got up and stretched when I was bombarded by a flying hug from Ginny. I got up and smiled, laughing along with Ginny and saw Sirius come down the stairs; he was smiling and caught my eye. I got the feeling of warmth again, he smiled and winked at me and I knew that today would be a good day.


	5. Chapter 4

We just sat down for a hearty lunch when there was a knock on the door, and then cue the screaming portrait. Sirius rolled his eyes in annoyance and was mumbling something under his breath. Lupin and Molly had just put the curtain back over the screaming portrait I continued on eating for a few more minuets and then sat in silence, I had a nightmare last night and it loomed in my mind like a dark cloud on a sunny day.

_My eyes were closed and I could feel myself lying on the hard earth. I opened my eyes slowly, thinking the sunlight would hurt them but there was none there. It was a dark and endless…tunnel? I whipped my head side to side trying to figure out where I was but only found my darkness, probably giving myself whiplash while doing so. The walls were a few shades lighter then a deep chocolate with moss growing along the cracks and crevices. I noticed I was wearing my nightgown and could feel the breeze nip at my skin and play with my hair. It felt like I was nailed to place and looked down, there were giant thick rust crusted nails sticking out from the tops of my feet. My blood was silently oozing out, though I don't think I would call it blood from the dark black tint to it and a thickness that rivaled tar. I tried to scream or beg for help as I heard inhuman noises coming at a fast pace towards me but to find my mouth was stitched together. I took my hands and gripped on one of the stitches and ripped it from my mouth. Blood shot out like I had turned on a faucet and with both of my hands I gripped my blood drenched lips and yanked, I let out a blood curdling scream, but only that black liquid came out. It stained my face and chest, tears were streaming from my eyes then there was nothing. _

_I looked around but I was floating in a sea of infinite black. I tried to find some sort of light but could find none. I closed my eyes and hugged myself as waves of loneliness rocked through my body. The blood had stopped and there was nothing on my chest. It was like there had been nothing there at all. I looked around and strained my sense to hear or see anything through the black sea. I was straining so hard all I heard was a ringing in my ears. Then with a blinding shot of light there was a face, first very vivid and slowly got clearer. It was just about to reveal itself to me, and then I woke up.  
_

I found a hand waving in front of my face, and snapped my head up and looked around, finding Harry to be the source of it. I smiled sheepishly and mumbled

"Sorry, I zoned out for a second." Harry just smiled at me and Ron whispered something into his ear, causing both of them to look at me questioningly. I turned around and noticed Sirius had come back and was talking to Lupin about who was at the door, looking happy and grave at the same time. The both peered over at me and I heard stuff like "tonight….yea…how do you think….im happy but…" That's all I got though. I stretched and yawned; Mrs. Weasley peered over at me and smiled. I knew what she was going to say before she said it

"Time for bed, is it?" I opened my mouth to protest but got silenced with her finger in the air

"Bed, now. You were up late last night reading." I just looked grumpily at the ground and nodded. I stood up in unison with Sirius, as well as Molly had. My guess was she was going to make sure I didn't stay up reading again, but Sirius told her

"I'll take her up to her room; don't worry your self Molly. She looked back and forth between us before nodding and sitting in her previous seat. I got an agitated feeling before a warm hand rested on my shoulder and guided me up the stairs. He opened the door that creaked, with his hand still on my shoulder he gripped tighter, turned me around so I was facing him, well at least looking up and shoved me onto my bed. He lingered over me in a way that gave me chills and then he took a deep breath.

"Your dad is dead." He looked happy, but unsure of me, of how I would react. I felt a wave of happiness wash over me, then pure grief and sorrow. I stood there as if I was nailed to the ground; my mind was wavering between reality and fantasy. I blinked a few times and realized I was crying, I put my hands on my cheeks and wiped my eyes. It didn't help because more tears started to cascade down my cheeks again. I flinched away as I saw a hand come down to my face; it hesitated before gentle stroking away my fresher tears. I wrapped my hands against the giant hand the covered most of my face, it felt like a comfort blanket. He kept his hand spaced out, I brought it up to my face and placed it on my cheek, then I brought it down to my mouth and I don't know why but I kissed the tips of each finger. I let our hands drop limply to our sides and stood there racking with sobs.

"Their gone-t-their all gone!" My knees felt like rubber before I fell to the ground. Sirius kneeled down beside me and hugged me, petting my hair and whispering comforts into my hair. It didn't help, I kept going in and out of my dream, a gargled scream got stuck in my throat and he picked me up. I hugged myself, and he put me on my bed. He lied me down and then got in beside me, hugging me to his chest. It felt like all the pain in my chest, all the pressure weighing me down was slowly being lifted. I put my arms over his, just as he whispered

"Why are you crying, after what that monster did to you?" I hiccoughed before answer

"He was my father, my only family left; now that he's gone I have no one!" Sirius sighed then answered

"But you do! You have everyone around you right now, your friends, and the Order, were all your friends and family." I hiccoughed a few more times before nodding, letting him know I did understand. I never told him, but it didn't help the pain, the throbbing hole in my heart only stretched. I could here the beating of his heart and I could here his steady breathing, as if he was asleep. My breath had became ragged and quick, I could barley get a clear breath in.

"Put your breathing with mine, like you're apart of me." I hiccoughed and took a few deeper breaths and finally got some control.

"Thank you." He kissed the back of my head right after I thanked him. He didn't get up after I stopped crying, he didn't move, or say anything, he just lay there with me. His arms were like my safety vest that kept me afloat in the vast sea of sadness. My dream came back, clear as daylight once more and I began to whimper. Sirius seemed to notice

"What wrong, dear child?" I shook my head no; I didn't want to have to relive my nightmare that seemed so real.

"You must tell me, or I can not help you." I took a deep breath before explaining the dream to him. He just held me tighter we heard the stairs creaking, signaling someone was coming. Sirius in one swift motion got out of the bed and was out the door. I held my breath, I don't know why but I did and then the door creaked open again once more slightly. Sirius's head popped in and he smiled

"Good night." I smiled back, he shut the door and darkness over took the room. "Night..." I murmured to no one in particular and silent sobs racked my body once more. I felt so alone, it felt like I was dieing inside and my heart stretched and felt like it was breaking. I hugged my self as I shivered from the coldness that crawled through my veins. I closed my eyes and let images pass through my head, some good, and some bad…all of them from the past but some how none pointed to a good future. Not with everyone in my family, all my flesh and blood dead. There was only 1 thing I could do….but I wasn't ready… not yet at east.

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**Hey everyone**

**I hope you're enjoying this so far, sorry it took so long to get Chapter 4 up, ive been really latley. I'll try to get Chapter 5 up as soon as i can I love you all.**

**Waxx-Butterflies 3  
**


	6. Chapter 5

That night, my dream became clearer, the images were sharper then before and the blinding light where the person was began to fade, but I still couldn't see them. That next morning, the sun shone through the window with a too peppy brightness to it. It shone right onto my bed, but for some reason it didn't help my numbing feeling, the suns warmth couldn't penetrate the core of my body where all my sorrow held strong. I sat up in my bed, and hugged myself. I though of all the memories we had, first he loved me, then hurt me and now he abandoned me. "Why did you do this to me" It was in my head, but I never realized it was out loud, for a voice responded

"I didn't do anything to you?" I looked and saw Sirius had came up….

"Why are you here?" He sat down on the edge of my bed, my head swam with horrible thought, and I felt sorta dizzy though. He looked at me skeptically then responded

"To make sure you're at least still alive…." I just looked at him like he'd just laid a dragon egg and shook my head, I felt like I was gonna pass out but stayed up. He kept staring at me then lifted his hand near my face, I flinched away. He looked like I had just slapped him when I had flinched away. I looked at him apologetically and moved back to him, he just smiled like telling me "It's alright, I'm not offended." I gave him a small smile back. He put the back of his head on my forehead, it felt cool, and I wanted him to keep it there. He took it back and Sirius told me

"You have to stay in bed to rest today, everyone went out to the buy there books, so it's just me and you."

"But why, I feel fine." Even though I said it, another wave of dizziness filled my head, and im sure I didn't look any better.

"Well you're incredibly pale and have a very high temperature, so stay." It wasn't a request, so I stayed, I would just sneak out later. I felt anger bubble inside me, slowly building "He can't tell me what to do!" I crossed my arms over my chest and lay back down. He got up and said something to me, but I didn't hear him. I closed my eyes and then the anger dissolved at once; it was replaced with a sense of loneliness and fear. The fear because I was scared of being alone, but I knew I already was. A sense and feeling of hopelessness filled me; it buried its self deep down into the core of my body, rocking me in waves of fear. I began to cry, silently at first, I started to listen to listen to muggle songs like "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne, "Beat of my Heart" by Hilary Duff and "Monster" by Meg & Dia. The sobs became louder as I drowned my sadness in the music, even for muggle music I had to admit that it wasn't bad. I let the crying rock through me like waves on a beach, violently crashing and breaking, never stopping in till the storm has been calmed. It hurts to know what I'm alone, and I will ALWAYS be alone…no matter what. That's how I felt at least, it was like nothing mattered anymore and no one really cared about me, it was all fake to try and make me feel better but it's not like I care. I decided I should probably go and get something to eat. I swung my legs over the bed and tried to stand up, the whooshing in my head got worse and I fell back onto the bed. "You can do it, just concentrate." I told my self then took a few deep breaths and got up. "Okay, this is going okay; I haven't fallen…..yet…" I took a few steps and I didn't fall or get charmed, so far so good. I felt horrible as the dizziness completely over took my head, making it impossible for me to think clearly. I closed my eyes and put my head into my hands, trying to dig them deeper so as if to grab my light head and rip it off. I, what after seemed centuries reached the door and opened it, only a crack and looked both ways. The coast was clear so I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway where the painting of Sirius's mother resided. I made my way as quietly as I could manage without falling into anything, or knocking anything over.

After I made it down the stairs, my light headiness had gone down a bit, but I still felt indeed horrible. I looked through the first door I saw, it was the living room. Sirius sat in a chair, his back turned and watching the fire. I quietly shut the door; I didn't even breathe in till I made my way into the kitchen after looking in through a few more rooms. I got some food and sat down at the table, I had tea with a biscuit; buttered of course. After I filled my stomach I started o feel a bit nauseated, it felt like my insides were being ripped out with a rope. I threw my chair back, running up the stairs, tripping on 2 on my way up then bashed open the bathroom door. I vomited into the toilet violently for a few seconds, not realizing Sirius had followed me up to the bathroom, and I felt him gently pull my hair from my face as I finished up. I breathed in ragged breathes, laying my head down on the side of the toilet seat. I closed my eyes as another wave of dizziness took over me and then. I passed out.

A few hours later it felt like I was awake but I was too tired to open my eyes so I scrunched them together, upon doing this a familiar voice spoke

"Well, at least you're finally up; you've been sleeping for awhile." I just groaned, he took it as a question

"Well, my guess would be for at least 12 – 15 hours, I've been here the whole time and there's no clock, so it was what I was just guessing though" My mind finally sprung to life "WOW he was there the WHOLE TIME! I wonder what's wrong with me…" I heard him take a deep breath and from what I was guessing, took a seat next to the bed. I finally opened my eyes and looked at him; he looked worried, angry and upset. I felt guilt knock the wind out of me and I looked away, unable to look him in the eyes. I guessed it was still just us since no one else came in, he sat there staring at me then got up. He bent down to my ear and whispered

"There's something I want to try." I felt myself start to feel a bit happy, so I nodded, unable to not be curious. He stood up, got up and sat on the edge of my bed; he came so close I could feel his breath on my face. I tried to shrink away but he used both of his hands and kept me firmly where I was. Then in one quick swift motion, he kissed me. I wanted to scream out of fear, but I wanted to melt, his touch set fire to my skin and I loved it. I could feel how experienced he was, as he hesitated on my lips, then without thinking I kissed him back, but not very much. As quickly as it had started, it was over, he was standing up, peering down at me and nodded then sat back down once more. I could feel the heat in my face begin to cool, and then he asked me something I wasn't expecting

"Hermione…. Were you ever…raped?" That's when the memories came back, and I put a hand over my mouth to muffle my scream and then, slowly but surely nodded he asked again

"Was it by you're dad?" I just nodded again. Then my first thought was "How did he figure it out?" As fear and anger over took me, with the memories flying back that I had tried so hard to lock away as my dirty little secret.

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**Hey everyone**

**Sorry for the long wait on this chapter**

**I dont know when i'll be able to get the next one up and thanks for all of my supporters! i love you all!**

**Also sorry this one is so short! **

**~Waxx-Butterflies**


	7. Chapter 6

I was sitting on my bed, watching as Sirius intently watched me from his seat, right across from me. My old pains came back with a vengeance and I bit my tongue so I wouldn't scream as flashbacks rocked and broke my mind. Tears cascaded down my face and I couldn't get a normal breath in. I remembered everything so clearly, like it was just yesterday he had done the horrible deed to me. Sirius was over at my side in a flash, holding me up as I felt myself succumbing to darkness, as I drifted back into my memories and I whispered one thing to Sirius

"Watch…" Then it started out again.

*WARNING* this next scene will be quite graphic and for those who do not wish to read please don't, I don't need any hate mail of any kind thanks!

_I opened my eyes; the only greeting I got was pain throughout my whole body and darkness. At first I was scared of the darkness, of that feeling of nothingness, of loneliness, of hopelessness. I had given into darkness so many time before though, it felt easy, like any day death its self might come up to me and just let me sleep peacefully forever. To never feel pain or regret again, only a few thoughts got me through these last horrible months, My mom, My friends and the order and….the doctor…and what he said…and what he did…how it grows in my mind, how it spreads me with warmth. I tried to cry and scream for help, I tried to do something; I tried to stop him from beating me, from hurting me…from tarnishing my skin but nothing seemed to work. I heard a silent click and felt my insides heave a bit, out of fear and anger, but did nothing to stop him. He came up to me and flipped me from laying on my back, so I was facing him, He was on all fours, right above me, close enough I could feel his breath on my face. Without warning he started to pin me down, he put straps on my wrists, nailing them down with a metal peg then the same with my feet, but he spread them apart. Fear grew in my stomach and he sat up, straddling me so I couldn't move. He cupped my face roughly with his hands and whispered_

_"It been so long, too long since I've had sex…" I tried to struggle, but he just laughed, he kept me immobile. I started to cry and scream, he just laughed harder, and it felt like it was being carved into my mind, making me bleed, causing me more pain. He lay down on top of me and started to rub me, feel me… like he was testing me to make sure I was still whole. He rubbed every part of me, my chest and my core the roughest. I screamed as he progressed, capturing my lips with a kiss and biting down, making me bleed which caused me to scream. He used this to slip his tongue into my mouth, having dominance. I tried to free my hands but they were nailed down good, it burned my flesh and I could feel blood dripping down my wrists from my struggles. Tears were falling down my face like an out-of-control river and I couldn't stop them. He reached under-neeth me and cupped my bottom, he inched and squeezed, I screamed out louder this time and accidentally pushing myself into him, trying to get away from his grasp. He took this as me enjoying it and kept going, he took my shirt off and ogled the newly exposed flesh before attacking it. At first he was gentle, and to my horrification, it didn't feel so bad when he was gentle. _

_Then he started to kiss and lick my chest, my breathing became shallow and ragged while spots began to appear in front of my face from lack of breath. I closed my eyes and only wished for death as he took my bra off and sucked on my right nipple then proceeded to the left. I tried to squirm away but the bands only cut deeper into my wrists, making me whimper in pain. He started to trail kisses delicately down my stomach in till he got to the edge of my pants. I ground me teeth together as he came back up and kissed me again. He finally took my pants off after what seemed ours (and it probably was) of him giving me hickeys everywhere. He grinded his hips against mine, letting me feel his bulge and he groaned at the contact. I knew my body was betraying me and I was getting wet, but that definitely didn't mean I enjoyed it. He slipped his pants off, and then he felt my folds with his fingers, causing me to whimper. He just smiled at the power he had over me and then slipped his fingers into me, causing me to groan out of being uncomfortable and sadly, part of my body was enjoying it. He pumped them in and out, as he added more. I was groaning more and louder, I grinded myself against his fingers, but kept crying the whole time. He took his fingers out and licked them, getting my scent and taste. He licked his lips then whispered before smacking me_

_"Beg." I didn't want to so he kept hitting me, so I begged, but it was for him to stop hitting me, not to keep going with me._

_"Please...please." He took of his boxers and took off my panties, revealing my virgin area. He started to kiss and licked me, making me moan then he put himself at my center, I squeaked...then I finally passed out.... gladly. _

_After what seemed hours (and once more probably was) I woke up, feeling pain wither throughout my body. I started to cry as I remembered what happened and realized I had been raped. I could feel something crunchy on the insides of my thighs and saw I could move, I looked and saw I was still nude then realized, it was dried blood... the first thought that came to mind was "I hope I don't get pregnant." before I fell asleep once more. _

I opened my eyes and saw myself still in Sirius's arms. He looked angry and sad, like he wanted to save me from that nightmare. He held me quietly in a tight hug, and for a good 20 minuets he held me and let me cry into his chest, rubbing my back, I didn't want to think about being pregnant or having any kind of disease. He after a while let me go and laid me on the bed, I was still crying. He put the covers over me and got up to left. I grabbed his sleeve just as he turned to leave and he turned to face me.

"Don't go, please don't go..." He nodded and sat down on the bed, we didn't care to when everyone else would come back, I felt safe as he sat beside me. I asked him once more

"Please, sleep with me tonight please.... I don't want to be alone." He nodded and laid down behind me, I snuggled closely into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. He held me to his warm chest and I could feel myself heat up at his touch, but it felt good no matter how much my mind resented and guy being too close to me. Then I finally asked

"How did you figure it out?" He breathed behind me a few time before answering

"When I kissed you, it felt like you're lips were swollen." I nodded before I asked the one question I was dreading

"Do you think I could be...pregnant?" He just nodded slowly into the back of my head and I groaned and started to cry once more. I cried all night long before I fell asleep in his arms just as everyone else arrived at the house, I cried uncaring, only caring that Sirius was going to keep me safe and keep the night mares away. He whispered to me just before I fell asleep.

"Good night, dear Hermione...I love you..." I yawned,

"Love..." Then fell asleep for once with a smile on my face, for the first time in a long time.


	8. Chapter 7

It was that night when my nightmare came back. The pictures were sharp as knifes and clear, I could hear every sound and feel every bit of pain. I felt as if every cell in my body was on fire. I woke up in the middle of the night; I was squirming around on the bed, biting back a scream. Sirius lay behind me, unknowing and I planned to keep it that way. The pain from my nightmare was all too real, these were night terrors and I was too scared to go back to bed. I was afraid, afraid I would have the same nightmare, and I would be in more pain and most of all…. I would see the person from the light. I felt tears coming to my eyes, I scrunched my face up to keep them from falling and planted my hands over my face, the pain was all to real and my longing to feel love, to feel anything was all too strong. I took deep breaths and I silently sobbed and after an hour or so, I calmed down enough to finally fall back asleep.

The next morning, well too put it simply I felt like hell. I stretched and yawned, trying not to remember what had happened in the middle of the night, but instead let my thoughts float to the night before. I sat up in my bed and looked around and saw I was alone. I held myself, like I was gonna break if I didn't. I was alone in the room, I could hear everyone downstairs so I got up and took a quick shower. The water burned but I didn't let it bother me. I got out and brushed my hair; blow dried it and put on some makeup. I started to make my way downstairs when I heard a noise from behind; I turned around and saw nothing. I figured it was just my imagination from lack of sleep. Just as I got to the bedroom door, I heard it again but louder, I took a sharp intake of oxygen and slowly turned around. There in the shadows I could make out a figure, I was frozen to the spot and inside my head I begged for someone to come and see this, to save me. The person moved out of the shadows and I breathed a sigh of relief, it was just Sirius. He walked over to me and said

"I think we should check if you're….pregnant." I bit the insides of my mouth and nodded. I wasn't sure if we were gonna use the muggle way but I didn't really care at this point. He pulled a rectangular package out of his jacket and I saw it was a muggle pregnancy test. I rolled my eyes mostly out of annoyance but to also cover up the terror that was rocking through me. That was the one thing I was trying not to think about from the night before, I was though trying to think about what he told me right before I fell asleep.

After I peed on the test, I sat on the toilet waiting for the answer, I waited and waited and waited some more. Finally after forever went around and came back again, I got an answer, "Not pregnant". That was a relief, I smiled and leaned back against the toilet and just sat there for a few seconds, soaking in what happiness I could before something else went wrong again. There was a knock at the door and I jumped up, I unlocked it and Sirius asked

"WELL?!" I smiled at him and he watched me before taking the test and reading it. He soaked it in for a minuet then sighed a BIG sigh of relief. He hugged me and kept whispering

"O thank god, thank god" After another 10 minuets of just standing there hugging, my feet were getting quite sore so I decided we should probably go downstairs or everyone's going to get worried. We made our way down the stairs and halfway down stairs Sirius stopped me and held onto my shoulders right before asking

"What's your answer?" I looked at him

"Answer to what?"

"To what I said last night." I racked my brain and thought before I stumbled across the only thing he could mean.

"I couldn't, I mean it wouldn't be proper you're-"

"Old?" I took a deep breath

"Well, its not that it's that you're-"

"Harry's Godfather?" I just nodded. He sighed and told me

"Think about it, 3 days 2 nights." Before leaving before me. I sat on the stairs thinking about what he was talking about and now, I have to decided whether I love Sirius black or not.

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**Hey everyone sorry this is so short, im having majoprs writers block. I'll try to be better with getting my chapters up . **

**Love you all**

**Waxx-Butterflies**

**3 Peace**


	9. Chapter 8

As I sat on the stairs collecting my thoughts, I wondered if today was the start and thought it had to be or he would have told me if the 3 days started tomorrow. I leaned a bit back and became dazed in my thoughts; my face was flooded with heat as I thought the scene over in my head. I sighed as the thought of what Harry would say if I told him about what was going on. Then I decided that it would be better if I didn't tell him. I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen where sweet smells of food cooking wafted up to me and the sounds of a cheerful breakfast found me. It made me feel slightly alone but got up and went downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and a few heads turned and looked at me one of them being Sirius. He smiled at me and I smiled back. A wave of red had nearly tackled me to the ground as I got a hug from Ginny. I hugged her back and laughed as we steadied ourselves and she pulled me to the table for a breakfast of bacon, eggs, pancakes, sausage and pumpkin juice or butterbeer. I poured myself some juice and started to eat my food, remembering it's been quite a while since I've eaten at all. Within 10 minuets I had finished my food and juice off. Ginny looked at me astonished then remarked

"Since when did you have the appetite of a lion, or in this case Ron."

"Hey, I do not eat like a-"With a mouth full of bacon

"Ronald Weasley doesn't talk with your mouth full or you won't eat at all!" Only to be cut off my by Mrs. Weasley who was giving him stern looks from across the table. He swallowed and mumbled an apology before continued on eating, his face splotched with scarlet. Harry, Ginny and I laughed at this and continued eating. In the middle of me eating I felt a foot touching mine, well it was more like keeping it there and nudging my foot, I looked under the table and saw it was indeed connected to Sirius. I rolled my eyes and put my feet under my chair so he couldn't reach them, I heard a chesty chuckle from him before he continued to eat. Lupin was asking him what was so funny but he just shook his head and continued on eating. I took seconds, mostly because Mrs. Weasley thought I looked a little skinner then from 2 days ago so I ate seconds and drank my fill. I finished mostly before everyone but Ron. I went into the living room and pulled out a book called "_A History of Hogwarts. Part 1_." I settled myself by the fire on the old, but surprisingly comfortable couch and let the warmth of the fire caress my body as I got lost in the world of my book. I read most of it, and I lost track of time so when I got a tap on the shoulder I nearly screamed, I turned around instinctively pulling my wand out and saw it was just Harry.

"I was wondering if you wanted to play Quiditch with us, it would be me, you and Fred vs. Ginny, Ron and George." I thought for a moment and decided that those games were better let to those who play. I told him I couldn't but I'd watch as I read. He just nodded and we went to the garden where everyone was waiting.

I sat down on a rock near the field, but far enough away so I wouldn't get hurt. I opened my book and continued to read for a while, and I looked and peeked over m book every now and again to see who was winning. From what I could tell, Harry and Fred were winning. I wondered what the adults were doing at this point, or to be specific more like what Sirius was doing.

Before long the sun was setting on the horizon giving the world a golden glow, it seemed to fill me with warmth. That warmth quickly disappeared though when I heard multiple screams and looked up to see a blur of brown head straight for my head. Before anyone could react the blundger stopped in mid air only a few inches from my face and I saw almost everyone with there wands out but it was Lupin who had stopped it. I sat back a little ways, forgetting I was on a rock and started to fall back, this time Sirius had caught me before I fell. I looked at him, a blush crept onto my cheeks and I smiled at him, he smiled back. Lupin put the blundger back into its case and Sirius picked me u with such force me feet left the ground momentarily. My book had fallen onto the ground during everything, I picked it up and dusted it off, remembering my page and closed it. I noticed Sirius, Lupin, Mrs. Weasley and everyone else on surrounding something on the ground. I walked over and saw it was Ginny, she had blood splattered on her face, it made her skin look an eerie color of pale lavender and one hand was clutching her nose, the other her forehead, where blood was dripping between both of her heads and through her fingers. At once Sirius and Tonks each took a body parts and healed it just as Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley came outside. They helped her up and into the house where she laid down for a while. During the rest of the day she complained about a horrible headache and was a tad grouchy but no one really cared about her being grouchy, we were all relived she was okay. Mrs. Weasley was tending to her all night now and barley left her side, she only did when she made dinner for us. That night after a hearty dinner of well….food everyone went there separate ways.

It was about 11 pm before I started to get tired and put on my night gown and pajama pants. I got into my bed but before I did I decided to grant everyone a goodnight. I walked downstairs and told Lupin and Tonks good night which I got "sleep tight" and "night" in response. It seemed as everyone else was asleep so I decided to go to bed and made my way upstairs. A hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me into it, I looked up at impact with the person and saw it was just Sirius as my scream died in my throat. I smiled and whispered while looking down at the floor

"Night Sirius" I looked up, his eyes were smoldering as the looked into mine, or more like through mine, then he just nodded and I ran back into my room. I laid in my bed trying to figure out what he did that for. I held myself and took a few deep breaths and within moments I was in a deep sleep where my dreams for once in a long time, didn't make me feel alone.

The next morning I woke up, not covered in sweat or crying or shaking but just woke up. I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes as the sun was naturally flowing into the room and lit it up like a flare had gone off. I stretched and got up, I put on some clothes, deciding I would shower that night and brushed my hair, put on a bit of make up and went downstairs. I was greeted with a chorus of "good mornings and I smiled at everyone but I looked at Sirius the longest as the smoldering look was back in his eyes and my body was filled with warmth.

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**So everyone heres the next chapter**

**I hope you enjoyed it, I'll try to make the next one longer. Hmm i wonder if she'll choose Sirius. Give me your input, do you want to see her choose Sirius or to not choose sirius! Hmm only tim will tell i guess i already have **

**Choose: 1**

**Dont: 0**

**Love you all **

**Peace**

**~Waxx-Butterflies**


	10. Chapter 9

During the day, I read a lot I had finished the Hogwarts History and moved on to part 2 which was twice as big. Ginny was playing exploding snap with George and Fred and Harry was hanging out with Ron, practicing Qudditch. I sat on the favorite sofa by the fire and had a glass of pumpkin juice at hands reach. I couldn't concentrate properly on reading, for once I don't know how long because I couldn't get the picture of Sirius's smoldering eyes out of my head. After 2 hours of reading I put the book down and closed my eyes as I relaxed, picturing those eyes that seemed so hypnotic. I could feel my face flood with heat as I thought about it more and more. I was jolted out of my thoughts when a loud _SNAP _sounded followed by cheering and jeering. I laughed as Ginny's voice became easier to figure out she had won while Fred and George lost.

I picked up my cup and went into the kitchen to get some more juice having finished my cup off a while back. I got the juice from the fridge and poured it in till the cup was almost completely full and then took a long drag from it before putting it down and wiping my mouth. I put the juice back and sat at the table, I saw outside Ron and Harry playing Qudditch and I giggled at there antics. Harry was hitting the blundgers at Ron who for some reason couldn't seem to stay on his broom properly. I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes, once more imagining Sirius, his eyes, his face his body and all around mostly just…him.

I finished off my juice and put it in the sink, rinsing it out and putting it back in the cupboard then I left my book in the kitchen and went into the front yard to relax in the sun for a bit. I put on some lighter clothes consisting of light lavender t-shit that hugged in just the right spots but was still nice and loose and a pair of jean shorts that went down mid thigh. I grabbed my book on the way to the front yard and sat outside in the sun. The grass was soft under my skin as I lay down and the sun warmed the back of my neck with a gentle hand. I read for hours on end and only looked up from my book when two very similar voices spoke out to me

"Hermione, mom wanted us-."

"To tell you that-."

"Dinner is ready and to wash up." The last part was spoken in unison. I smiled and got up, remembering the page I was on and followed Fred and George back into the house.

At dinner I sat in between Fred and George, mostly on request from Mrs. Weasley for she didn't want them to cause any trouble tonight (fad chance of that). Lupin Sirius and Tonks sat on the other side of me and with a table added on Mr. Weasley sat at one end, Mrs. Weasley at the other and Ginny, Ron and Harry sat at the end of the table. We ate dinner with animated talking and after Ginny and I helped Tonks and Mrs. Weasley with the dishes. After a very boring hour of cleaning dishes Ginny went to find Fred and George for another round of exploding snap since they declared a re-match. I made my way up the flights of stairs and found Ron and Harry. I sat on Harry's bed and watched as Harry and Ron played wizards chess. After they finished there game I spoke up

"Harry Ron, aren't you guys excited for the new school year! We're O.W.L students now!" Ron scoffed and rolled his eyes, Harry just smiled sheepishly. I sighed and got up. I made my way to my room and got on my pajamas then I grabbed my book I was reading previously and laid on my bed to read for a while. After a fast 3 hours I put my book down and thought for a moment "…. Tomorrow I the day I have to tell Sirius but… what do I say…. How do I tell him and what will he say…will he change his mind, will he hate me! Mom I wish you were here to help me…." I clicked off my light, got under my covers and decided to go to bed. That night my night mare revealed its self once more.

*Nightmare*

_My eyes were closed and I could feel myself lying on the hard earth. I opened my eyes slowly, thinking the sunlight would hurt them but there was none there. It was a dark and endless…tunnel? I whipped my head side to side trying to figure out where I was but only found my darkness, probably giving myself whiplash while doing so. The walls were a few shades lighter then a deep chocolate with moss growing along the cracks and crevices. I noticed I was wearing my nightgown and could feel the breeze nip at my skin and play with my hair. It felt like I was nailed to place and looked down, there were giant thick rust crusted nails sticking out from the tops of my feet. My blood was silently oozing out, though I don't think I would call it blood from the dark black tint to it and a thickness that rivaled tar. I tried to scream or beg for help as I heard inhuman noises coming at a fast pace towards me but to find my mouth was stitched together. I took my hands and gripped on one of the stitches and ripped it from my mouth. Blood shot out like I had turned on a faucet and with both of my hands I gripped my blood drenched lips and yanked, I let out a blood curdling scream, but only that black liquid came out. It stained my face and chest, tears were streaming from my eyes then there was nothing. _

_I looked around but I was floating in a sea of infinite black. I tried to find some sort of light but could find none. I closed my eyes and hugged myself as waves of loneliness rocked through my body. The blood had stopped and there was nothing on my chest. It was like there had been nothing there at all. I looked around and strained my sense to hear or see anything through the black sea. I was straining so hard all I heard was a ringing in my ears. Then with a blinding shot of light there was a face, first very vivid and slowly got clearer. I moved closer to the light and then, out came the face of Sirius black, soon replaced by Harry and after another minuet it was Lord Voldemort with became whole. A flash of green light penetrated the darkness as he died away and I awoke. _

A scream died in my throat as I shot up in my bed, a blanket of cold sweat covered me. I shivered as the pale moon kissed my room and grasped my skin. I got out of my bed, my legs felt like rubber as I made my way over to the bathroom and took of my pajamas and climbed into the shower. I turned the water on and instantly it burned my skin from the cold sweat, I gritted my teeth. The pain soon died away and I got out of the shower. I replaced my old clothes with new ones and climbed back into my bed, after I changed the sheets. I climbed into bed and took a few deep breaths, I settled down in my bed and right before I fell asleep I thought "I'll tell him…. I just wonder what he'll say…"

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**Okay everyone, so i got all the results in from my veiws. You'll find out next chapter what happens, that might be the last chapter, I'm thinking about doing a sequeal but I'm not sure yet.**

**Can't wait to hear what you have to say about this chapter. **

**Love you all**

**Waxx-Butterflies 3**


	11. Chapter 10

The next morning I woke up quite easily even after the night before. I smiled as I woke up, had a shower and put on a bit a make up. I felt like the weight of the worlds was on my shoulders but shrugged it off. I decided it was better to let him know and that in the end everything would turn out right in the end.

I began my morning with a nice cup of tea and a bowl of cereal and fruit. Yummy. After I did that I decided to go and read for a bit, being the first one up. I read for a good two hours before I heard anyone getting up, guilt and eagerness flared in my stomach. I looked who it was but it was just Mrs. Weasley. Disappointment sizzled in my stomach I went back to reading, trying to keep my face a mask.

It seemed like everyone but Sirius was coming down, next, right after molly was Fred and George then Ginny, Ron Harry and lastly Lupin. With my curiosity getting the best of m I went up stairs to see what was taking him. As I climbed the stairs to go to Sirius' room I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach, I turned the corner and knocked on the door, there was a muffled sound from inside and Sirius opened the door.

I looked at him and noticed that it looked s if he was just getting out of bed, or I had an awoken him. I smiled and he gave a slightly annoyed grin down at me.

"Could I come in, we need to talk…" He nodded and I went in. I paid no attention the bright red and gold flaming on his walls and felt a respect for him as I was sure it was to annoy his Slytherin family. I sat on a chair in the far corner and he sat on his bed looking at me. I opened my mouth to start talking but no words could describe my feelings, at how deeply I was feeling.

He seemed to notice this; he stood up and walked towards me, hesitant with each step. He crouched down in front of me,

And we kissed.

It was bliss, his lips so experienced, hesitant and warm against my less experienced but very willing to apply to this, when he felt me add pressure he kissed me with a whole new passion. Eventually we broke apart

"That answers my question." With a cocky grin, I blushed.

**THE END**

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**Heyy everyone, sorry this took to so long to get up, i had MAJOR writers block. I'm not sure if i should do a sequeal, so let me know what you think. **

**Love you all**

**Peace**

**Waxx-Butterflies**

**3  
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